Betsy The Great

When I look back, to when Chris and I were just starting out, and Jack was on the way, I'm not sure my outlook on the future of my relationships with my in-laws was bright. But I guess what they say is true, that time heals all wounds, and now almost 5 years later, I can say I'm one of the lucky few who really loves their in-laws.

So among the 10 new family members I was blessed with, I have this totally amazing sister. This is not to say that all my sisters are not amazing in their own ways, but I feel confident that they'd agree that Betsy is one of the best human beings around.

Betsy loves riding bikes, history, books, music, good food and drink, adventures, art, friends and family, and making a difference. And you look at her and realize that even if she didn't want to do all the amazing things she does, there is something IN her that drives her to them. Like, for example, when she rode in the PMC Bike Race 1 week before packing up her entire life and heading to Haiti for a year. Regardless of how much she packs in, or how exhausted she is, at the end, she always has this crazy happy smile and all these fantastic stories of really cool and wonderful people she's met. You always walk away feeling like, well shit, I could ride a 190 mile bike race!!!

And so she's in Haiti. Teaching kids and making a difference and learning about a totally different world and way of life. I am really grateful that my kids have her in their life and hope they will learn everything and anything they can from her. I'm excited she has a blog, because I love reading her writing, and sometimes she writes something that brings a little tear to my eye because it's such beauty in chaos, and it makes me miss seeing the world and it makes me wish for my kids that they can see all the corners of the earth.

Anyway, if you're ever hungry, have some Spaghetti For Breakfast.

Mr. FluffyPants

This is what we call Jack, now that we have transitioned from diapers to the Happy Heiny's Training Pants. I was so sick of buying diapers, and with Jack no where close to being night trained, I bit the bullet, and bought the pants.

After a quick hot wash cycle, they were ready to go last night. I wish I could have taken a night vision picture of the face Jack had when we put them on. The biggest grin ever. This morning when he woke up he said he loved sleeping in his plundies (he invented this word, because they are hybrid pull-up/undies) and that they felt so soft, and not papery like the diapers.

So I'm done! No more diapers! Ever! I can't even express how good it feels. It got to a point where I felt like I was buying trash.



We are starting with 3 of the trainers, just to see how that fits in with our current diaper washing schedule, and may get 2 more, just so we always have a little wiggle room. Also, they come with or without snaps on the side. For us, snaps was the better choice. Jack is an incredibly deep sleeper and, although very rare, will sometimes poop in his nighttime diaper. I figured
unsnapping the training pants would be easier than pulling
them down, and getting poop everywhere.

Also, a tip for cloth diapering moms: get a good wet bag!!!! I was suckered in by Isis Maternity! They of course only sell one kind of wet bag and it totally sucks. While visiting the diaperLab in Somerville, I mentioned my wet bag woes. When I told her what brand I was using, she shook her head, and said that they were known for retaining smell. Ugh! I got a good wetbag, and LOVE it. I'll report back on stink, but it seems lovely, and I loved the honesty I got at the diaperLab.

I made the call...

And admitted that I'm dealing with bad PPD and anxiety. There isn't much to say in this post I suppose. Only that I haven't felt like myself for weeks. And that the burden of taking everything in stride for the last 4 years is finally breaking me down.

I am not the wife I want to be.

I am not the mother I want to be.

I am not the daughter I want to be.

I am not the friend I want to be.

And if I'm brutally honest with myself, I have had these feelings, at various levels of intensity, for a lot of my life.

Every person I spoke to this morning had no tone of arrogance, or annoyance. Only caring, and loving advice, and guidance. I have an appointment set up for next week. I feel pretty relieved, I guess, that I'm at least acknowledging things. And these are all steps, forward moving steps. I never want the boys to remember me as I feel now.

And in support of World Breastfeeding Week, I found this quote on Kellymom.com. I love Dr. Hale, and swear one of these days I'll be able to afford his book. But this sums it up perfectly, for any woman holding back, or worrying that she won't be able to continue breastfeeding, you can.

"Finally, Dr. Hale concluded his talk by saying that breastfeeding should be supported fully and not interrupted by mom's needs for medication; and that treatment of postpartum depression can be accomplished relatively safely in breastfeeding mothers. So, in his consideration, moms should continue breastfeeding and should get drug treatment as needed for depression."

More on this journey next week...xo.