*Insert Witty Mother's Day Title*

Truthfully, I started this post in my head a few days ago. I was driving back from preschool pick-up and listening to some random song on the radio that had some affect on my postpartum, hormonal self. I started remembering back, a year ago. This week was the one year anniversary of us being royally fucked by UPS and also us finding out we were pregnant with L. And now, a year later, Chris is about to graduate from his technical school with a 3.9GPA and we are enjoying our much fuller family. I never thought we'd be here.

It's been a really hard year, and to say the hard times have passed would be naive. Chris still has to find a job, and I still have to spend the rest of my life raising two boys. But things don't feel so terrifying. I don't wake up constantly with a pit in my stomach fearing what's next. I am filled with hope and anticipation of our bright future. These two absolutely beautiful and joy filled children are in our lives, and my husband has found passion and drive, and I am just way too obsessed with being a mom.

I think though, that one of the best things that's happened to me in the past year, is that the hard work I've put into making mom friends has paid off. I know I wrote a whole post about this before, but I never really and truly realized how essential it is, as a mom, to have a good group of friends that are sharing in your same experiences. I feel so full. I have friends who have babies Leo's age, I have friends who have kids Jack's age, I have friends who have one kid, I have friends who have two. Some of these people I can tell are not fleeting. These are real friendships, with all the give and take, and support. People I can be honest with about not having bathed my kid for 3 days, and the truth that sometimes being a mom is just really fucking hard.

And let's be honest, enough books to cover the earth with their pages could be written about what it feels like to become a mom. So I won't waste my time even attempting to describe what it feels like to wake up every morning, to two beautiful humans, who love you in a way that literally no one else in the world does. That's why, for me, I am sometimes overwhelmed by the pressure to live up to what these kids expect. Every day is a challenge, and any mistake that I make, I wake up the next day determined to be better, to do better.



Well, I've been a mom now for almost 4 years, and now to two children. And on days like this, I just hope I'm doing a good enough job that my children, and my family, want to celebrate me.

Here's to all the moms! To my mom and my mother in law. To all my dear, dear friends who help me every day to be a better mother and a better friend and who continue to fill me up with knowledge, advice and most valuable, their precious time.

*cheers*